How fast is too fast when it comes to…speedating?

Speed-dating was actually my first foray into the world of organized dating/matchmaking.  You pay $30, get 12-15 ‘dates’ and may meet your potential Prince Charming in only 6 minutes. And they are drinks. And appetizers. Really what more could you ask for?   This lovely date and subsequent email comes from my good friend, Michelle.  She recently attended a speed dating event where each person had around 20-25 dates…..at 3 minutes each.  When I speed dated, we got half of that and double the time. While I agree that with some men the six minutes flew by and the other men dragged for an enternity, it seems like 3 minutes only gives you enough time to determine whether or not you find the guy attractive and if he can form a complete sentence.  How can you truly remember someone other than based on their physical appearance?  Take for example, this email Michelle received from one of the gentlemen she went on a speed-date with:

From: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
Subject: Easy Date match
To: xxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
 
Hey Michelle,
Its Greg From the easy date event on Friday. That was a quite a whirlwind night but, i do remember you. If i recall correctly your a teacher and you live close to me by prospect park? Oh yeah your from ohio..Wow my memory is better then i thought:) So anyway it would be great to hear from you, have a great day.

 Greg

Nothing wrong with that email, right?  Greg did good. He remembers well. The email is short but sweet.  WRONG.

Michelle is correct, that is her name.

Teacher:  Michelle works in the travel field.

Prospect Park: Michelle lives in Manhattan. And before that Queens. Nowhere near Brooklyn.

See?  3 minutes is not enough for a date. 6 minutes is just enough. And who knows, if you get 10 minutes you might just find yourself engaged.

*Special thanks to Michelle for sharing her dating adventures. Keep it up, Michelle!

Rawr!

And just as I step back on the train to Dateland, the blog begins to write itself.  Here is the latest addition to my Match.com inbox:

From: xxxx < xxxx@talkmatch.com > / Received: December 22, 2009

hey there how are you? my names xxxx and i understand your older than me but i saw your profile and i would love to chat with you

While I am very flattered by his wish to talk chat with me, I thinking that perhaps bringing up that he is understanding of my oldness but is still willing to chat despite of it, is perhaps NOT the message he wants to come across.   I know that age ain’t nothing but a number, but a 9-year age difference seems a bit much; at least when the ages in question are 21 and 30.  I just think there is a difference in the maturity between those ages.  Yes, you can argue that their are very mature 21-year olds and immature 30-year olds, but in this case, I am not sure I could see it working.  Maybe I am not ready to embrace the cougar-ness that comes with being 30.  It has always been a running joke between my friend Anne and I on our yearly outing to the bars, that generally leave us unable to move the following day, that when we go to certain establishments that we are the cougars to the average age of the clientele there.  It always seemed like a joke, we are older but we are not really cougars.  We haven’t had one of those nights since I turned 30 and I can’t help but wonder if it would feel any different if/when we venture out again?  I certainly don’t feel any different than I have for the last few years, but it is not hard to realize what a milestone 30 is.  And to imagine it through the eyes of 21-year old guy hitting on the sophisticated older women on Match.com. 

I think for this particular email, I will choose to be flattered by his request but alas, Mrs. Robinson I am not and I am not sure that I could get past the age difference to respond back to him.

Here we are again…

Well, I am somewhat sorry to report that my detour has ended.  Out of respect for the cowboy, I will not give many details.  I will just say that it was I who initiated it and I am very happy with my decision.  At the end of the day,  it just seemed that we were looking for different things.  On a brighter note, the blog is now officially back!

And I guess I am….

Amazing Emails

Apparently, Dategirl is going international! Between yesterday’s wink and today’s email, I am tops with international men.  Check out this email from a Frenchman…..living in Atlanta, but still a Frenchman!

Subject:	bonjour
	Message:	hi, hw are you ? my name is manu i am from france and you seem to be a very nice woman as well ; i would love to hear from you if you would .have a wonderfuld ay…manu

I am most happy that the frenchman can tell how nice I am from my photo, since that is the only thing I have up on the long-forgotten site that this came from.

Amazing Profiles

Although, I am on my detour, I still get occasional winks or emails on the sites.  Check out my latest gem:

im a quite person respect women like to find the girl my heart choose her from cairo or any other place in the world. im honest and my heart full of love to all people in the world . i have kids but they dont live with me . i do my best to bring them up. i do believe in ALLAH. i live with my parents now but i have my own house

I am thrilled that an Albany girl made the cut even though it is not Cairo.

Detour in Dateland

While talking to my dear friend and most ardent blog promoter, L. over the weekend, she mentioned that stories about the Cowboy, seemed to have stopped. She suggested I update the blog to answer why. Well, I am happy to report that I am taking a detour in my dateland adventures with the very same cowboy.  While it is still very new (only a month or so old, officially), I decided to keep the blogging about it to a minimum.  I will say things are going very well and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes. Never fear, I have only covered a small fraction of my adventures, so I hope to keep updating on a regular basis.

Relationship Jinxes?

I found this article on one of my favorite websites The Frisky.  It makes a interesting point about actions that we think can have an influence on a burgeoning relationship.  I can think of a couple of things that make me nervous:

• Telling people
• Changing your facebook status

What makes you nervous to do or say when you are starting a relationship?

 

Seriously, EHarmony?

In my seemingly never-ending issues with EHarmony, please to enjoy one of my favorite matches that I ever received of the site.  I can definitely see the humor in this, but it felt less funny when I had shelled out my monthly installment of $80.

D (Purple Nurple, New York)

Occupation: Nipples

Age: 27

Height: 6′ 4″

Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic

Religion: Christian

Want Kids: Yes

Drinks: About once a week

Smokes: Never

Match Delivered: July 29, 2009

Granted the Purple Nurple, NY should have tipped me off right away…but I still didn’t see that occupation coming.  However, maybe  his occupation is actually nipples. He could work for Body Perks.  Remember that episode of Sex and the City where they were made famous? Perhaps, I overreacted….

Not so great dates #1

Before I started this blog, I had a number of crazy interesting dates that I wanted to make sure I got down on the blog for a laugh and for posterity.   This first not so great date was my first date from an online dating site.  Banana Man was actually the very first person to contact me ever online.  From the start, Banana Man was always a little too much.  I met him on EHarmony and as soon as we made it to the open communication it was lots of “your gorgeous” and “hey beautiful”.  My first instinct was to just stop responding to his emails.  But, I kept telling myself that I needed to put myself out there and should at least meet for coffee to get my feet wet in bringing my online dating into the real world.  So, I agreed to meet the Banana Man for brunch. 

I admit I was a bit nervous. It had been a looooong time since I had been on a proper date, never mind the fact that I am meeting someone for the first time.  It should have been a tip off that the Banana Man came bounding towards me as soon as I opened my car door, his arms opened wide, ready to give me a hug.  We got a booth and ordered our breakfasts.  Tomato and feta egg-white omlet for me.  And Rice Krispies and a banana for him. Not the most adult breakfast I have ever seen in my life, but to each their own.  I will note that this was not where he got his name from. As we wait for the food to arrive, Banana Man promptly tells me that he is very impressed meeting me and that he feels confident he is ready to focus exclusively on me in his dating life.  While I was flattered, that he knew so quickly he was ready to have an exclusive relationship, I gently explained that I wasn’t quite ready for that level of commitment.  The awkwardness of the moment was interrupted with the arrival of our meals.  It was at this point that Banana Man earned his moniker.  As he eagerly poured out his mini box of rice krispies, he unpeeled his banana, held it too close to my face and told me “There is always one good side to a banana and that is the only one I eat, the other one I won’t.”  He examined both ends of the banana, determined the “best” end and put it into his cereal.  This was strike two for the banana man.  And the third came after a barrage of texts, phone calls, and emails over the days following our date that made me throw down the bat and head back to dugout.

Open Your Heart….

Now,  I realize that when I signed up for umpteen dating sites, the chances were high that at least one of the sites would sell my email address to various other websites and services all geared towards the dating field.  So, I wasn’t surprised to receive emails from Christian dating sites; it makes sense, on Match.com the only choice for my religious preference was Christian, so I am sure they readily handed my email address older.  Catholic dating site was not a big surprise either since I actually am Catholic, if somewhat lapsed, so I am sure whatever site I listed that on sold my info.  Imagine my surprise utter appallment to receive this in my inbox.  With the title “Open Your Heart” no less.

I know my 30 birthday is in less than a month….but geez! I didn’t realize that made me eligible for Senior Singles sites.  Although, maybe I should not rule out an older man….